What makes someone put on a
costume and knock on your door? easy answer: It's Halloween! That, or if it’s
not October, and you are not having a costume party (and you don't live in
reality) they are a super-hero coming to save you from some evil villain...but
I would think in that last instance they wouldn't knock on your door.
Well let us pretend we DO live in reality. So what is it then that makes a
person dress up as one of the Avengers on a daily basis and walk the streets
and halls, acting for all intensive purposes...otherwise normal? Just think on
that question.
I will take you back one week in time and explain to you the events and
peoples involved in this escapade of craziness...or normalness, and perhaps
we'll figure it out. I write all of this because as of 9:30AM yesterday morning
I awoke to two swift knocks on my door and was greeted by a 5'6",
scruffy-faced, pot-bellied, semi-Captain America wearing a mask with reflective
shades, a Captain America shield shirt with white popped-collar polo
underneath, and blue shorts with sneakers! Now how did it all come to this?
Wed. 5/16
It's about 2 o'clock and I go down to the outdoor common area to read, no
pond today. I take the stairs from the 3rd floor parking garage all the way
down, past the laundry room, then seat myself on a bench next to the fountain
and one of the clumps of bamboo. This should be relaxing. However, today is a
bit different. There is actually someone outside! They are listening to music
and getting the BBQ started, or rather trying. I may not get much reading done.
As it appears to be the new neighbor, and he is having just about the hardest
time I have ever seen anyone have starting up a grill I hop up, introduce
myself, and try to help. I am immediately awarded with a Shiner. Nothing like
free cold beer on a hot day. Seeing as he has dumped a rather large bag of charcoal
into the grill, this task is proving to be more difficult than usual. I
construct the usual pyramid shape with flammables beneath...and get nuthin'.
After a good thirty minutes the New Neighbor has gotten quite flustered. My
guess is he has been out here much longer than I have. We have no lighter fluid
so this will be interesting. At my mention of lighter fluid --and his
subsequent denial--the New Neighbor (even more flustered) wonders if "beer
could get the fire going...since it has alcohol in it." There is a quick
conversation on my part telling him about why that would just be a bad idea
while we are trying to get the fire STARTED but he pours it on anyway. Big
surprise...nothing happens. Now that we have been at this grill for at least an
hour the New Neighbor pops into his apartment then out onto his patio which
faces the common area, he is wearing a plastic Captain America mask with
rainbow reflective sports shades underneath. He explains how "cool"
it is and that he likes to drive around with it on sometimes. Interesting.
Once he gets back to the grill he has brought out many more flammable items
to be stuck beneath the non-burning coals. Finally, another one of the
neighbors, we will call her Bethany, who has lived here for awhile comes out to
let her dogs run. The New Neighbor who quickly whips out his mask again yells
to Bethany, "Hey we're having a party! You want a beer?" It seems
nice enough if not strange. I just look on dubiously as this isn't going
anywhere unless the coals start. Bethany happens to be good friends with the
New Neighbors next door neighbor, we will call her Jen. So Beth hops Jen's
balcony and grabs her lighter-fluid soaked charcoal and we get things burning.
It is now about 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
At this stage all manner of foods come pouring out of our New Neighbors
apartment, let's call him Mr. Avenger. He brings out steaks of the finest
quality (none of that WalMart crap), Dover sole, shrimp, ...then frozen
hotdogs, large package of frozen chicken, semi-thawed fish... I am positive
many of us have food at many stages of storage in our homes, but then he
suggests we thaw them out in the sunlight!? Ahhh...nothing like an afternoon
with a belly full of beer,
salmonella,
vibrio,
clostridium, and
listeria! Bethany and I get things organized
while Mr. Avenger continues to do interesting things, like rescue our ears from
a low volume of music, or from properly cooked food (the grill had now become
an inferno). As we came back together in the common area Mr. Avenger seemed quite
unsure of what to do, but he was able to watch the steaks burn on the grill.
That's ok though, the BBQ is not for all. What seemed for Mr. Avenger was
bouncing around inside his apartment popping out onto his first floor balcony
to holler at us and see how things are going, and to see if any more people
were walking by that he could 'link to his cause'.
Throughout the evening we had people stopping by. At 6:30 PM the attractive
brown-haired neighbor, Jen, whom we had "borrowed" more charcoal from
got home and joined us outside. Another, first floor resident popped in for
about thirty minutes and left. But each time Mr. Avenger caught a glimpse of an
unknown human being he preached about the ongoing party, and about how it would
last till Thursday, and Friday, and Saturday!
When some time passed and he saw
no new people walk by he howled to the sky "PAAAARRRTTYY!!!". As it
got later, we finished our charred food. Jen had gone to a dinner meeting and
come back, and Bethany had gone to bed.
As Mr. Avenger seemed to be
getting belligerent and just plain stupid, i.e. throwing his "Captain
America shield" like a frisbee, just nearly missing a person's head and
losing it in a clump of six-foot tall bamboo, we cleaned up and took everything
inside. This was the first meeting.
Thurs. 5/17
Today, I wake up late. I go to my sister's and help her in the garden. Some
hard outdoor labor shoveling in the sun. By the time I get home it’s
evening...must be at least 9:30 PM. As I walk through the common area I run into
Mr. Avenger and Bethany who is letting her dogs run, I figure Jen must be
inside as Mr. Avenger kinda puts out that creepy vibe. He says he bought a new
Thor mask, as well as the Iron Man one I can see laying on the table inside his
apartment. He asks me to come inside to hang out but I am way too tired and he
won't stop talking. His door is propped open with a broken chair leg and he now
has brand new furniture in his apartment. He also informs he that while getting
the furniture home he happened to be pulled over by the cops for speeding in a
school zone...and yes he was wearing the mask. I try to get away. He suggests
we go to the pool and he offers me a mask! He says it will attract the ladies.
I pass. Again, I tell him it has been a long day and I am going to sleep...in
my head I am wondering what madness Jen must be thinking as we now have been
standing outside her door for almost ten minutes and Mr. Avenger has no sense
of volume and openly cares nothing for his neighbors. I message Jen and apologize
for keeping her up the night before and she says nothing of it, only that she
doesn't want any problems with Mr. Avenger and that she hope he calms down,
that he…scares her.
Fri. 5/18
I try to start today out normally, but there is that sadness in my mind for
Jen...having to live next door to such an annoying person. I take care of studies;
paint, read...then I get a foreboding message from Bethany saying to stay away
from Mr. Avenger. He is awake at 7AM in the common area with a super-hero mask
on hacking away at the bamboo with a sword trying to retrieve his "Captain
America shield!" Also, having that wonderful little morning beer to get
the carbohydrates to start the day off right! His music is being blasted so
loud that now two separate tenants have called the police to get him to quiet
down...this is all well before 10AM. By noon he is running off to his car to
"escape" in a rage for some reason. Then I see it. A police suburban
arrives, soon followed by a squad car. I also see another police suburban on
what appears to be "lookout". He is no longer here. Around 5:30PM Jen
gets home to find Mr. Avenger waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs by
the apartment entrance. He starts screaming at her blaming her for his eviction
and saying that she
has to be the one
that called the cops earlier in the day! As she begins screaming back, four
security guards come and throw him into his apartment, police are called, 24
hour surveillance is put in place...Around 7PM Mr. Avenger shows up at my door,
obviously distraught, proclaiming that he has been evicted and he doesn't care.
Still wearing a mask. What kind of crazy is this?--He is in his early forties,
divorced, and has a couple of kids he hasn't seen in over five years...is this
the cause? Is this just rationalization? Is this mental breakdown?
Sat. 5/19
Now that Mr. Avenger is "evicted" Bethany and Jen, and I'm sure
the rest of the tenants feel much better. Today we relax by the pool. Mr.
Avenger should not be on the premises, but if he is there are police officers noting
his every move. So we all relax...that is until he drives by the pool. He stops
his truck--grabs a hero mask--and tries to strike up a conversation, mostly
about how unfair it is that he is being evicted, but it doesn't matter because
he already found a new place. He then speeds off. Awkward. We continue to relax
by the chilly water, let the sun warm us and the breeze cool us...then he
drives up again, trying to engage us in conversation through the white metal
gate. He either has completely forgotten what has happened over the past few
days, or is hoping that
we have.
Either way, within a few minutes he gains knowledge from the overall attitude
of the group that being as "interesting" as he is, is a little too
much and this time peels out. Later in the evening, as a few of us eat on the
balcony facing out from the building, he almost searches us out. Now trying to
act a little more normally he tries to bring sympathy on his side.
Should you completely shun a person like this? Are you polite to them while
they are normal? Should you scream in their face that they are acting like a
fool? Do you try and have them committed?
Sun. 5/20
Knock-Knock-Knock-Knock! I look through the peephole in my door and there he
is! “Hey! Wanna come downstairs and BBQ!” in addition to that Mr. Avenger would
like to also move some newly purchased furniture into his apartment! Strange idea
for one who has just recently been screaming about eviction…but whatever, I’ll
move a couch.
Mon. 5/21
Nothing. He hangs outside in the common area still trying to get tenants to “party”
with him, when they don’t, he invites the security guards to join him. Kinda
funny really, and sad. If he weren’t so “interesting” he may have made a good
neighbor.
Tues. 5/22
Funny question…“You have to choose now, am I your friend? Or is Bethany your
friend? She called the cops on me this morning!” Well seeing that this has gone
from crazy to just plain juvenile I have no problem blowing it off without an
answer that gives any satisfaction. I shut the door and go back to sleep. The
rest of the day we all do our own stuff, and God-only-knows what Mr. Avenger is
up to. More important stuff.
Wed. 5/23
Knock! Knock!
